Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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