Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize