Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
