You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
