I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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