Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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