He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
