I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
