3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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