The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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