Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
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