You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
