my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Randomize
