Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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