hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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