I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize