Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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