I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
