she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
