We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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