id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
