I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
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