dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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