absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
