There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
