I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
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