Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I'm really busy with my period
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