I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
