I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
