guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
