Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
