you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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