You made me cry and you don't even care
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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