I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
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