I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
