i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
