At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
he thought i was a dude.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
