If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
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She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
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I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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