There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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