So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
