I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
