Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
