i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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