well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
