possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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