North Korea, Best Korea!
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
