He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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