i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
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