Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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