Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
So squirting runs in the family.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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