So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Randomize