He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
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i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
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If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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