its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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