that's an acceptable place to lick
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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