Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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